Death of a beloved pet

I've never had to put a pet to sleep before. I technically didn't do it today either but it's still incredibly difficult. My wonderful and sometimes infuriating dog was put to sleep today. CoCo, my 18 year old mutt, was taken from me today. CoCo lived with my mom back in Michigan and today we finally realized it was time. Besides from being 18 - he was arthritic, was partially deaf and blind and he started going to the bathroom with blood in his stool. The vet said 18 was a good run for a dog and that the blood was an internal problem and that at his age - not much could be done. We couldn't let my dog suffer anymore because that would be cruel. Still, to say "yes, it's time to put him down" was one of the hardest things i've ever had to say in my life. So tonight - I honour and cherish the memory of a wonderful and insane dog. Even though I wasn't there to hold him when the vet injected him - it hurts all the same.

CoCo was there when I turned 13, when I first started driving, my first car accident, when I graduated from high school, when my dad died, when I graduated from college, my first job, when I left MI for NYC and even when I dropped my cooking on the floor on purpose so he could lick it up. He was there through every monumental and idiotic moment of my life. I was just home with him last week and when leaving I told him to be there when I came back to visit again - knowing in my heart I didn't think he would make it. He still looked like a puppy and in my heart I wanted to believe that he still was. I think I believe he will always be that puppy I bought for $80 and brought me more happiness than I could ever buy.

Today and tomorrow... I'll remember the dog who became family and made me chase him around my subdivision more times than I'd like to remember. Here's to CoCo - the sibling I never had but who I would have loved to have.

Am I a bad person?

Am I a bad person for getting fed up with having a bad day? A lady cut me off as I was crossing the street on 8th Avenue and she turned to me and yelled - she was less than a foot away - "Why are you pushing me?!?" First off - i didn't push her. Second, trying to nudge around someone like this was my bad. Third, I would never just push someone - people are dense. Anyway - when I said that I was trying to cross the street she shouted at me "What the f*ck is your problem?!?!" while she was holding the hands of her two children. How sweet.

Today I actually pondered moving out of NYC. Not because its a cut throat city and populated to the max but because I'm fed up with ignorant and uneducated people. I know I will find people like that everywhere but they appear to be in a higher abundance in NYC. Then I thought to myself "how could I possibly ever leave this great city?".

To the lady who decided it was her mission in life to be a bitch today: look in the mirror and chill out. You live in NYC - people bump into you. You're supposed to let it roll off of you - not scream like an idiot in the middle of 8th Avenue swearing with your two children looking on. You're not setting a good example. We don't need more people like you in the world. You should be concentrating on raising your children to be better than you. If you are raising your children by the example your mother set for you - then your mothers birth control was not working because you should not have been born.

So, am I a bad person for saying all of this? Or am I bad person for actually writing it out for everyone to see that sometimes I've had enough and want people to act kind?