Politics of Weddings (read lack of manners)

Everyone told me that getting married brings out the worst in people but I always assumed they were referring to the people actually getting married. I didn't think that they might be referring to people that aren't part of the wedding but manage to get their fingers into it.

Let me just put this out there - if you did not receive an invitation to the wedding or your name does not appear on an invitation - then you are NOT INVITED TO THE WEDDING. This general rule of thumb can also be referred to by guests who actually do receive an invitation. Invitations are addressed to the people invited - weddings are not a free for all or an open invitation to friends, co-workers, on-off again girlfriends, pimps, etc.... So here's my story and why I'm typing at 11pm like a crack addict on a sugar high.

My fiance has a large family and in this family there are many young single (not engaged) adults. When we got engaged last year the decision was made that if members of his family were engaged then they could bring a guest - if they were not engaged then I'm sorry but no guest would be allowed - no exceptions. I will admit this is not ideal but when two people live in NYC, have regular-non Wall St jobs and paying for majority of the wedding on their own - well, they get to decide who gets invited and who does not.

Now, imagine that one cousin has a girlfriend that a) bride does not care for and b) keeps showing up at bridal events uninvited - somehow must have lost the remaining piece of their trailer park mind thinks that they are invited to the wedding that they indeed are not invited to. Now, imagine Trailer Park girl asks what the formality of the wedding is in front of many members of the family and friends. Bride says "Black Tie Optional" and then gets that nagging feeling that says "SH&T!" and proceeds to ask Trailer Park girl why she is asking these questions. Imagine the surprise of hearing Trailer Park girl say "I knew it! I told "boyfriend" that I could wear a ball gown cause I knew it was a fancy wedding!" Well HOLY CR&P, turn me around and call me silly but did that girl just invite herself to the wedding?!?! The quick answer is YES. How did this happen you might ask. Let me tell you...

Grandmother takes pity on Trailer Park girl because this girl apparently has had a tough life (unsure how this affects my wedding). Apparently Trailer Park girl's mom died when she was young and now her dad is an alcoholic. Tough crap - my dad died 10 years ago this coming Monday and do I make that other people's problem? No. Well, grandmother has taken pity/a liking to Trailer Park girl and asks her daughter, my fiance's mother, if Trailer Park girl can come to the wedding. WHOA!

First - this is not my fiance's mothers wedding. Second - Why would you ask someone who is not getting married if someone not invited can come. Third - wait for it because you will not be able to believe this - fiance's mother tells grandmother YES because she apparently can't say no. Then Trailer Park girlfriend's boyfriends dad (fiance's uncle) calls his sister (fiance's mother) to ask if Trailer Park girl can come to the wedding. Read points one through three above if anyone has forgotten.

The best part is - no one asked us - the people paying for the wedding and who's wedding it actually is - if Trailer Park girl could come. Why? BECAUSE THEY KNEW WE WOULD SAY NO!!!!! WHAT THE MO-FO!

Net net - after two weeks of being so angry at fiance's family and wanting to call the wedding off to elope I relent and say fine - Trailer Park girl can come but ONLY IF I GET AN APOLOGY FIRST FROM A) Grandmother who took pity on TP Girl B) UNCLE who's son is dating whorish TP Girl and C) FIANCE's MOTHER for saying yes to everyone, not consulting us and thinking she had a say in this wedding. Well guess what....

Got the reply card back from that family and guess what?!?! TP GIRLS NAME IS ON THE REPLY CARD AND STILL NO CALL OR APOLOGY FROM ANYONE! So guess what - I'm calling them out on it and uninviting her. They can call me rude or a b*tch but I could care less. If fiance's family wants to think that manners are a suggestion then they can do so within their own family. Not with me.

Enough is enough. I'll keep you posted on the wedding drama and how this ends up playing out. I think the entire family won't show but hey - you want TP girl invited then throw your own wedding and invite her to that. I'm done.